A very productive evening and an even more tiring day.

Going on based on only 4 hours of sleep is quite an achievement. Some of us went home to continue sleeping, while others kept on going (Guurrll~ salute you!)

But alhamdulilah, amidst the hustle and bustle, we found something very precious: The sweetness of ukhuwwah.

We slept together (someone has intimacy issues   and Abyll, you didn’t kick me, don’t worry! lol!), laughed together, solat together, ate together (tho it would’ve been uber cool if we ate berdulang), read the Quran together, exchange insights, the list is endless!

If my parents thought being wedded and expecting would tone me down, I think they thought wrong (lets just hope my husband doesn’t think that way either. tee hee hee). I came back wee hours of the morning when everyone was still asleep, took a quick nap and went out again after lunch. A hasten hi-bye to the parentals then off to another appointment.

The day ended with coffee with the girls at our usual ‘headquarters’ (girls, i swear, one day we shall get a share! hey…it rhymes!). It was sad to see everyone heading off their separate ways, but alas, our time together this week has ended and a new week will begin.

Off to do our duties as educators, lecturers, wives and daughters.

The departure is never a fare-well but more of a “I’ll see you again, soon! insyaAllah.” And before you know it, soon arrives quicker than two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

And then the sweetness of Ukhuwwah begins all over again… and you never get bored of it. Never

The purpose of this post? It’s very random, I know. But I want this day to be logged in my memoirs. Alhamdulilah, last nite, was seriously, one of the best nights in with the girls and I want to cherish that feeling.

I am very exhausted. Truly. But alhamdulilah, the fact that my Sunday wasn’t wasted idly makes it very worthwhile. InsyaAllah.

Diverting for abit, friends of mine have been asked if its true that I did not date my husband prior to our solemnisation. Is it true that we weren’t in love before we got married?

The answer isss…..

Its true. Our love came after we got married. Which I tell you, is uber uber coolness!

My husband and I ta’aruf, we met once chaparoned by 5 girls. I told him, if you’re interested in me, then ask my father for my hand in marriage. If not, then best we preted this never happened.

I don’t date (anymore) cause I now know its the worst way to get married and it will only be a waste of our time. We shall and will play by the Sunnah.

Rasullullah said choose based on each other’s faith. I can tell you now, 20 years along the road, I won’t be wrinkle free. So if you choose me based on my looks, then you are in grave danger. But InsyaAllah 20 years from now, if Allah wills it, my faith in Allah and my believe in Islam will remain, if not, stronger.

We’ll give each other time to istikharah and think about this, cause its going to be a lifetime, not just a day or two. So if you’re serious, I’ll give you my answer and you’ll give me yours then come and meet my parents.

Wah seh. You think I’d scare him away, right? Any guy with a sane mind would head for the hills and never look back.

But two weeks later, there he was, at my doorstep asking if he could meet my father. Which of course made my jaw dropped cause I thought “This guy is craaazzyyyyy~~ but I’ll take you anyways!” Lol.

A month later engaged and 4 months after engagement, wedded. We would’ve wedded earlier, but my parents’ work schedule did not permit.

Bilatah kenalannya? Nda kan you kahwin someone TOTALLY you don’t know anything about.

Eh, who say? Got kenal-kenalan. Only to be accompanied and chaperoned at all times.

At my house.

By my parents.

I tell you, if you took your parents out on a date, how potong steam would that be?

Tapi alhamdulilah, terperlihara daripada maksiat.

It was only after our engagement I found out more about my husband.But not everything.

Love after marriage is so much sweeter than before. One of the reasons is because its halal.

You can say you love your other half 11ty billion times a day and its not zina of the mouth.

You can hold your other half’s hand 24/7 and tergugur lah dosa-dosa kecil antara kami berdua and its not zina tangan.

I can stare into my husband’s eyes until my eyeballs pop out (which i will not do, by the way, I still love my sleep very much) and it will only acquire more pahala and its not zina mata.

I can think about my husband and its not zina hati.

Also, there’s no expectations, there’s  no before and after for comparison.

You get alot of people say “Awu, dulu sebelum kawin, di angkatnya tani mun ada air bertakung di jalanan. Ani, lapas kawin, di perancitkan nya ada pulang!”

I get to know my husband for who he really is. The good, the bad and the ugly. And vice versa. Cause well, we’re married! Mana boleh lari lagi. If your other half likes to fart under the sheets as his/her past time then you as the spouse gotta deal with it. (And also tell him/her in the nicest way that it’s a disgusting habit and should not be encouraged. LOL.)

I bet kalau bercinta dulu, mengunyah lagi tutup mulut kai tangan, apa lagi kan kantut!

When you date before you’re married, you’re not the real you. You hide yourself, even if you say you are being honest with each other and this is how you are, its a lie.

You would reserve yourself  and only let them see what you want them to see. They don’t stay with you 24/7, you only see each other at most a few hours of the day. So of course you would be on your best behaviour.

But when you’re married, you are already in your comfort zone. Cause there’s no where to run and breaking up is not actually an option. So you gotta deal with the real thang. Rasullullah said you won’t know someone truly if you haven’t tidur sebantal, makan sedulang (And there’s one more..i forgot!)

Islam is beautiful how can we deny it. Not only it values Muslimahs as treassured pearls, to be hidden under the depths of the seas only to be picked by one man and one man only, but it preserved the purity of love from Allah .

Love comes from Allah and it comes to us in its pure form. It is only because we are blinded by our nafs, we tainted that love with lust and slowly it loses its purity.

I would say I am truly lucky to be wedded in this manner. Many did not know who I was marrying until my solemnization day, my close relatives and cousins included. They’re like “Who’s this dude? Why haven’t we seen him yet?”

Cause if I expose , bangas tiaaaaa~

And im not the only one who went through this process. There are many more out there IN BRUNEI who went through the same thing. Just that they don’t have a blog to share it with  y’all. So aku jadi wakil lah for now. Hew hew hew.

After marriage do I realise one of the reasons why Rasullullah told us to choose base on faith. Because, a Muslim  would know his boundaries and responsibilities as a Muslim, husband and father. A Muslimah would know her boundaries and responsibilities as a Muslimah, wife and mother.

They both know their roles as Muslim and Muslimah and that is every role imaginable, the rest just falls into place. Whenever they decide on something, they would refer back to the Sunnah and Quran. Does Allah permits this, would Rasullullah approve that? They wouldn’t measure their marriage based on human standards, but would base it on Allah ’s standards.

What can I say? Islam IS the way of life

So girls, if you think its not possible to marry someone before going through that bf-gf period, then ask yourself, apa hebatnya lelaki atu, sampai ia boleh membuat tani lupa kan aturan dan hukum Allah ?

Mana lagi hebat, boyfriend kamu atau azab Allah ?

“Telah ditetapkan atas manusia bagiannya dari zina. Ia pasti mendapatkan
hal yang demikian itu.

Zinanya mata adalah memandang, zinanya telinga
adalah mendengar,

zinanya lidah adalah berbicara ,

zinanya tangan adalah
meraba,

zinanya kaki dengan melangkah dan

zinanya hati dengan berkeinginan, berangan angan dan membenarkan atau mendustakan kemaluan.”

(Riwayat Bukhari,Muslim,Abu Daud dan lain lain)

Sekarang mari pula kita lihat ayat Allah swt yang mengharamkan perbuatan
zina dan sekaligus mengharamkan segala perbuatan yang menjurus ke arahnya.

“Dan janganlah kamu mendekati zina; sesungguhnya zina itu adalah suatu
perbuatan yang keji dan suatu jalan yang buruk.”
(Al Israa 17:32)

Di sini Allah telah mengisyaratkan bahawa perbuatan zina adalah haram dan
segala jalan yang menuju ke arahnya menjadi haram.

My duty is to tell you, not to force you to accept. If you are convinced, take it, if you are not then leave it. Do not debate with me about it because the dalil is already out in the open.

Before I truly understood this concept, I too thought having a boyfriend was perfectly harmless, even if you’re not holding hands etc etc etc. I was told about it but it didn’t sink it and I was pretty much in denial.

I was under the illusion that I was all right. But little did I know I was destroying myself slowly yet surely.

But alhamdulilah, Allah loves me more. He saved me from walking on that stray path and gave me a ginormous wake-up call.

InsyaAllah, hopefully Allah will give you one too.

May I gloat once again, love after marriage is the uber coolness cause you preserve that purity and sweetness of the  courting period

So when people ask, “Kamu kana jodohkan kah oleh parents kamu?”

I reply with a smile “Kana jodohkan, tapi bukan by our parents.”

“Siapa tah?”

“Di jodohkan oleh Allah .”

Alhamdulilah.

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Filed by Ummu Aiman at 11:40 pm under General Musings
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