Hello Bantal is quite a hit ya?

Sampai the link kena email-email sumore. tee-hee-hee. Also I notice a few new readers. Welcome! Welcome!

Waaah..are you guys interested to know more about the ‘kahwin first then can go dating legally under the eyes of Allah , guilt and sin free’ ?

If the previous post was the first time you came across the whole ‘no-ding-ding-without-the-wedding-ring‘ then I am more than happy to oblige in providing adequate (insyaAllah) information about it.

Tho am not the best person to talk about the subject, *cough*Dr Lurve*cough*MM*cough* I’ve been on both sides, so I can give you personal insights towards the whole issue.

I don’t blame you tho. It was a shock to my system as well when I was first acqainted with the concept. I didn’t swallow it right there and then. It took me a while to assimilate the data. A while means a few months or so

No dating?? are you kidding? then how are we girls suppose to get married?? Sudah tah the ‘good’ guys are all taken or sexually confused. And you’re telling me I can’t be close to guy?? WHATTTT???

Heh. True or not? I bet the same thing ran through your mind as well.

I got over it. Eventually. with help. LOL. Lots.

But you know the best part is? As soon as I accepted it, not long after, Allah rewarded that acceptance

When you leave your affairs to Allah , Allah will take care of you.

Just like when I first wore my hijab. I remember this incident still very clearly in my head.

A few weeks after I wore my hijab, it was ramadhan. And i was pretty excited. Because it will be the first time I fasted because I wanted to, not because I had to fulfil the ‘rukun Islam’ criteria, but because I REALLY REALLY wanted to.

I was all geared up for terawih. I even googled it. Lol.

One day when I returned quite late from class. It was half an hour before iftaar and I rushed home to prepare a decent meal. As I was in the kitchen, there was a knock on my door. Quickly grabbing my shawl and hastily wrapping it around my head, I opened the door and there was my Arab neighbour.

“Assalamualaikum! You muslim?”

Errr…that question took me by surprise. LOL.

“Walaikumsalam, yes I am,”

“You wait one minute. I come back.”

I thought, apa hal pak arab ani? I got my cooking in the kitchen!

A minute later, true to his word, he came back with a tray, NOT A PLATE but a TRAY, of goodies. There was this yoghurt like desert thingy, then a plate of fruits and a plate of (something which i dont remember now).

I was like MASYA-Allah !  I was so embarrass to take it from him, but he insisted.

“But I don’t have anything to give back to you..” I answered meekly.

“La, la. Ikhlas-ikhlas. You take, for iftaar. Later, after solat I come back and give more food. Okie? Assalamualaikum.”

And he left. With my jaw wide open. MORE FOOD? Do I look like I eat alot? Lol.

Ya Allah , nangis dalam kesyukuran. Masa doa kan buka puasa atu, I really really cried! Macam, ya Allah , rasa kebesaran Allah atu, He really take care of me, and I didn’t even do anything to deserve it, but this is like, wow, a feast!

True to his word, Arab guy game back after terawih and gave me more of that sweet desert thingy, which until today i never figure out what it was. But it was AWESOMELY NICE!

Before he left, he said “I bring you food later, to eat before Fajr.”

At this point I had to decline cause I was really embarrassed that I could not offer him anything. But he was adamant.

“Laa, laa. You take. Ikhlas. okie? I knock later. Assalamualaikum.”

Our encounters were brief. He knocks, I answer, he thrust a tray to me, I take and he left.

And so, he became my delivery man three times a day. Sahur, Iftaar and after terawih. For one whole month.

ONE WHOLE MONTH! Masya Allah ! Dapur ku nda berasap for one whole month!! Because rezq was delivered to my door THREE TIMES A DAY! I eat less then that! But the abundance of rezq, I could not turn away.

Well, berasap sekali sekala cause I feel embarrass that they keep giving and I keep taking. Occasionally I bake cookies (yaaaaaaaaaaaa~) and cakes and return the favour. I doubt they would eat Australian cooking. I cook a mean Australian meal, but i fail miserably in eastern cuisine. sigh.

Even when Arab guy was ill, he would send his housemate to deliver the food. Alhamdulilah.

And all I did was, threw away my miniskirts, wore hijab and started to solat again. That is all. Simple if you think of it. Insignificant to some. But I suppose only Allah knows how hard it would be for me to do these things again for Him.

I tafakkur-ed and came to the conclusion that Allah was giving me incentives to keep on going and to not give up. To istiqamah in His path because the reward will come in gazillion folds. The only condition is to BELIEVE. And the rest will pursue.

A year later, I was reading the tafseer when I came across the ayat in Surah Al Imran:

Every time that he entered (Her) chamber to see her, He found her supplied with sustenance. He said: “O Mary! Whence (comes) this to you?”

She said: “From Allah: for Allah Provides sustenance to whom He pleases without measure.”

Setiap Zakaria masuk untuk menemui Maryam di mihrab, ia dapati makanan di sisinya. Zakaria berkata: “”Hai Maryam dari mana kamu memperoleh (makanan) ini?”" Maryam menjawab:

“”Makanan itu dari sisi Allah ”". Sesungguhnya Allah memberi rezeki kepada siapa yang dikehendaki-Nya tanpa hisab.”

And that ayat took me back to that nostalgic and memorable Ramadhan where Allah provided for me. Allah memberi rezeki kepada siapa yang di kehendakiNya tanpa hisab.

I encountered that. And I will never forget feeling. Even today, when I think about it, or come across this ayat, I would tear up, all the feelings would rush back, that feeling of Faith in Allah , that sweetness of trusting Allah .

Why it took me awhile to accept the idea of no-dating prior to marriage, I also do not know, but i do know that the heart was very much stubborn when it comes to matters of love.

One of the reasons why I decided to accept it eventually was because of that ayat. One night after tahajjud, I was really really crying, asking for Allah to take that desire to be with a guy away from me because it was truly eating me inside.

I took my tafseer, and just like I always do whenever I needed answers, before I open the tafseer, I prayed to Allah , Allah , please show me something that could turn my heart to You and let me trust You in this matter.

And that was it. 3:37.

Allah reminded me, Was it not I who rewarded you when You left your old life and embrace Islam as your way of living? Was that not enough?

And after that I cried for a very long time. Thinking, how foolish I’ve been to be blinded. After what it seemed like an eternity of crying, I stopped and this sudden wave of serenity and calm washed over me. LIke a burden has been lifted from my shoulders and my heart was beaming with peace.

I thought, this is it. This is it, its time to let go.

And so I did and put my faith in Allah once again.

I understand how hard it is to let go, and its not just a mere dialogue to say to someone who is going through the same thing.

But I discovered again, that, If you leave something for Allah , Allah will replace it with something much better. If may not be now, nor later, but it will eventually come.

Cause Allah is true to His words

What was the purpose of this post again? Ah yes! If you would like a separate post regarding the whole dating issue, do leave questions or comments, insyaAllah, if there is a huge demand, I would write. If not, senderey-senderey saja ah… tee hee.

On a happier note, my husband is back from the sea and we’re going camping this weekend. =D =D =D I es happy bunny.

We’re thinking, its probably a boy cause Im up and going like an energiser bunny but wind down and sleep for aaaaaagggeeess after that. LOL.

Til then, take care of your iman

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Filed by Ummu Aiman at 9:48 pm under General Musings
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